Disenchanted Day
06 Mar 2012 9 Comments
in Poetry Tags: disenchanted, human nature, nature, notwithit, Poetry, sad
Disenchanted day
the inside of my head screams – M E S S !
like the chaotic trees doing a mad samba
back and forth in the constant hiss
of swirling winds
thoughts
blow away
to where the white caps are
distantly bouncing on the water
beyond the mudflats
uncatchable treasures
lost
in this disenchantment of a day
where only a crazy lady and her crazy pooch
and the hungriest or bravest of birds
have ventured
passing
the soldier crabs who parade virtually undisturbed
left, right, left, right…
S L I D E S I D E W A Y S
left, right, left…
in oh soooo… together formations
scuttling over mud
N E V E R
sinking into it… except of course at high tide…
it’s just a disenchanting day… really
in case you didn’t know!
Mar 06, 2012 @ 11:53:31
I like the movement from the chaotic trees to the crabs’ movement. A walk along the beach with a dog always helps me. Hope your day gets better.
Mar 07, 2012 @ 01:33:31
smiles….for such a disenchanting day you sure captured a lot of its magic you know…love the skittering of the crabs and dance of the trees….i hope too it got better…
Mar 07, 2012 @ 06:38:41
Thanks Laurie and Brian and yeah…it got better just a wee glitch really!
Mar 07, 2012 @ 03:17:24
“in this disenchantment of a day
where only a crazy lady and her crazy pooch
and the hungriest or bravest of birds
have ventured” -
so maybe the crazy pooch & lady are just bravely hungry, and only the outward look, looks to be crazy –
the mad samba and swirling winds and bouncing whtiecaps remind me of the energy that’d rise in sleepy galveston when the storms’d come up -
something elemental in it, i like it…
Mar 07, 2012 @ 08:28:34
I love it when the poet talks to the reader through a poem- really nice job of that. Also, really appreciate the progression of nature and terrain, from the head, not nature, but it is in a way, trees, winds, white caps, water, mudflats, mud and high tide, this line becomes the timeline and all the activity falls along it. I love that, really fine job crafting this. Really enjoyed the read. Thanks
Mar 07, 2012 @ 17:20:04
hihi…. the chaotic trees doing a mad samba…i like… that captures the mood so well…and days like these are still good when they produce such nice poetry..smiles
Mar 07, 2012 @ 23:48:10
Love the dancing trees, and love how you captured a sense of motion with the capitalized letters.
We all have days like this. Nice to see it captured so well. Great write.
Mar 09, 2012 @ 02:19:04
I’ve had a lot of those–but your poem was far from disenchanting–it really brought me a little bit of nature I’d not otherwise see, and I always like the beach empty except for crazy ladies–one girl’s disenchantment is another’s pleasure, apparently. ;_)
Mar 12, 2012 @ 20:49:04
i really like the movement of thoughts into that swirling wind that moves the tree out to the white caps of the sea. blow away. so good.