Quick Draw Correction

 

Oh Tim Winton, Tim Winton

Great writer that you are

Novels filled with atmosphere

I feel you’ve gone too far

Really, how could you

It’s degrading, were you stuck

When there are so many better words

Why on earth would you stoop to ____ (well you know)

If it’s for emphasis you could use, darn?

Maybe even …shoot

That’s a little Americanism

Old fashioned but a beaut

Now I understand the title

Dirt Music and I now know why

To see that word in print… well

It brought a tear to my very eye

So Mr Winton, with correction tape in hand

I’ve embarked on a journey, a moral one indeed

To give all of us some prose

That will be blissfully safe to read

Oh yes…Oh yes

Such vulgarity I abhor

Not one person in my vicinity

Shall look upon that word no more

With a flick of my wrist

Each sentence I will censor

And each paragraph, page and chapter

Returned to smut free splendour

So Mr Winton please be advised

 I’ll keep you on your toes

Armed with my quick-draw correction tape

I’ll clean up all your prose

There’s no library in the land

Or bookstore that’s out of reach

That I can’t get to the pages

And that word, I will bleach

I hope we have an understanding

Mr Winton I do hope

Because if you don’t lift your game

I am writing to the Pope!

Be Warned!!!

copyright 2011 Dianne Turner

Someone from our local library took it upon themselves to wipe out every F…word from the novel Dirt Music by Tim Winton. I mean every word so because they showed such tenacity I dedicate this poem to our local saviour.  If only I knew who they were, I would send them all my Billy Connolly DVD’s they would have a field day with those.  He He!

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9 thoughts on “Quick Draw Correction

  1. That’s really a pretty funny story…and quite an inventive verse. You have to admire the censor’s tenacity. I like (as you might have guessed) an offbeat approach…this certainly was one. A totally unexpected subject…cleverly done. Vb

  2. Mr Winton I do hope

    Because if you don’t lift your game

    I am writing to the Pope!

    Be Warned!!!

    ..

    lovely humor, entertaining and witty…thanks for sharing…

    A++

  3. People who endeavor to wipe away indecencies, by virtue of the appointed taste at hand, must surround themselves with the thing they most despise, which seems like a coyly, covert attempt at voyeurism, if not outright masturbation.

    Thanks also for commenting on my poem.

    OneLove–Tiger Windwalker

    PS the proper use of the phrase is “No fuck you”!

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