I took a section from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and reworked it slightly…with a picture of a cloud I recently saw that had loomed over Melbourne a few days ago.   If you want to see some pics of  the cloud heres a link

“Look, look,” he cried pointing to the sky,

where one huge cloud came surging to the shore

a beast of cloud, two large mist like hands seemed to raise from the land

pulling it ever closer…

“Aye there’d be somethin in that wind…

Aye, it looks…

It tastes…

And smells like… death

Oh aye…I feel it in the pit of me stomach

Lord…make me answer cheerful when me time comes”

He raised his arms to the sky… devoutly begging…

I was sure God was not present…not in that sky, not with that devil cloud

Climbing over the blue… the wind whipped evil across my face

The eye of the storm, was not the eye of God… it was a red hot eye that stared into my soul

Holding my heart on the edge of terror…whatever it was, it came for us all…

The old man moved his mouth…silent in prayer …then he came to me and took my hand

“Oh bless thee sweet child…may God walk with you this night…” and he left and as he walked away, I knew God would not walk with either of us…we were alone against something not even God could comprehend.

For dverse prose to poetry  

The original text here…

“Look! Look!” he cried suddenly. “There’s something in that wind and in the hoast beyont that sounds, and looks, and tastes and smells like death. It’s in the air; I feel it comin.” Lord, make me answer cheerful when my call comes!” He held up his arms devoutly, and raised his hat. His mouth moved as though he were praying. After a few minutes silence, he got up, shook hands with me, and said goodbye, and hobbled off.


7 thoughts on “Storm

  1. What an interesting combo: freakish clouds in Oz and Bram Stoker. I looked a bit at Dracula on Project Gutenberg. That red-eyed cloud is a favourite of his, and an eerie one, sort of eye-of-Sauronish. I like the contrast of its otherworldly malevolence to the everyday voice of the pious old man, with his “Lord make me cheerful” line.

  2. oo nice…love me some dracula…and nice to play off the actual cloud you saw..they can be quite menacing…against something that not even God could comprehend…ominous….

    sorry i am so late…just getting home…

  3. No need to apologise, I was late putting this together/therefore posting it…I am re-reading Dracula at the moment…he seems to have come back to haunt me after all these years… re-visting with the vampires..,what fun! 🙂

  4. Great transformation pulling in Melbourne reality into the mix! Love the dialogue (“Aye there’d be somethin in that wind”) and the other nuances. Very well done! Thanks so much for taking this challenge!

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