Follically challenged pale face creatures
With orthodontic problems
I am disappointed
And excuse the pun but you… suck
Who took away your undead soul?
Oh I remember that full moon
Looming just above dark forests
Menacing winds hissing through trees
The thunder of horses’ hooves with the rattle of a carriage
Along a desolate road,
Slow… wild…manes billowing high
Ooow oooooow of an owl
A nervous passenger staring out the window
Regretting his decision to travel on this night
With the bats screaming overhead
Feeling the cold ice of your presence
Yet still hoping…it was only his imagination
At the crossroads, the coach stops
The door creaks open…and no one is there
“Out,” the driver says, deep and controlled.
“We travel no farther this night…another carriage will come at daylight.”
The passenger protests in vain, as some long extended arm
pushes him out the door and he falls to the ground.
The carriage takes off…silently this time and disappears into the night.
A lone wolf calls, as the winds rise
He shivers, cowering against the night
And then…from nowhere… you emerge with a hiss…
Now you’re just as likely to be standing at the cosmetic counter
Of a department store trying out new hair products
Consulting a plastic surgeon for the latest chiselled look
Wearing Armani suits and having dental surgery
And god forbid acting like a spoilt rich celebrity
I bet you even have a gym membership
Like everything…stick into a slick sexy package
And give it a one word label
Well…goodbye you vile creature of the night
No longer do the wolves make sweet music
And if you don’t mind, my carriage awaits
I doubt there’ll be anything to worry about this night.