There’s Something about Bess.

 

swiftly like a whisper floating through court

a young girl watches, ambitious taking notes

courtiers glance but quickly turn their coats

spending their time on other serious thoughts

 unaware her ear would one day be sought

not to be a pearl hastily cast afloat

she sailed, a white sail alone on her boat

calmly on the sea like her mother taught

 

knowing well heads were never so secure

nor favours to the heart held quite so fast

the weathers sudden turn would surely test

 such wave’s unfaithful hearts will so endure

on turbulent seas her die was now cast

walking with the Queen at her own behest

 

so it was she vowed to take to silence

another’s heart she would never deny

and in doing so weaved a treacherous lie

 

stealing the favourite from the royal eye

she with child, it was, they secretly wed

but only he, would ever lose his head

 

For dverse form for all a Miltonian Sonnet

All I can say is that I tried…and I know it’s pretty bad but ah well…I’ve never been good at sonnets but had to have a go anyway! Forgive me Sam if I’ve mad a hash of it!

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21 thoughts on “There’s Something about Bess.

    • You’re so kind Gretchen…I found this one tough and I’ve been reading about Bess so it was in my head… but gosh what a form… might have to practice a little more! 🙂

  1. nice…you worked the two tails in as well…that is awesome…i was happy enough to get my 14 lines…ha….so heck dont feel bad, you were ambitious…and a cool tale…it feels a bit familiar, the story…it def has the intrigue, particularly in your tails…the lie, the marriage and the off with the head….interesting…

  2. Even if things don’t seem to fall into place the effort is worth it–and here you have managed to write a good poem in spite of your fears! You caught me with the opening line, with a wonderful simile, and told the story with style. Nicely done!

  3. Just reading this for the second time. I think you just need to give it time to gestate. Leave it alone for awhile and then come back to it or just rewrite and compair the two. I think you’re on your way, don’t you? 🙂

    • Thanks Jamie, yes I think I need to let it sit for a while, I may well try another one, I think I got stuck on the rhyme so maybe there’s another way to tackle it…thank you for your advice, it might be a fun exercise over Easter break!

  4. I know very little about the technicalities of poetry. I guess therefore my motto is poetry has no rules… lol… perhaps that is echoed in my own poetry ‘smiles’. I say write on, take a stab at the theme and look you did and story was born! The point is you gave it a shot and had fun doing it right? I say great poem and story, this from somebody who loves writing poetry but knows nothing about technic.

  5. I really enjoyed this. Truly it takes a talent to weave such a tale in sonnet form. Made me think back on the history of this…….The last line was a PERFECT ending to this poem. (And him? A little humor…sorry.)

  6. Fabulous twist in the tale (tail) here! It almost feels like one of those choose-your-adventure works where you pick one of two sestets to complete your vision. It reads very well for something you say you’re not quite happy with. Honestly, my own sonnets are in pretty bad shape but I work and re-work them until I’m happy and sometimes it takes ages before I feel that every word is in place. I’m obsessive that way – so I can relate – and applaud you valuing craftsmanship.

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