“The Artist “

The “artist” he called himself

and he’d punctuated the air with inverted commas

I hate that… pretentious wa… well you know

“you gotta think outside the box!” he’d say

“find a new way…the morning is just a newly opened box.”

“there’s a way out of every mess you’ll ever get yourself into!”

and so there was…if like him you painted a new version of yourself



He seemed to think he was the only person alive

who could see the real deal

like somehow his eyes were finally open

and  he’d been given some special gift…one that no one else knew about

you know the one…

it’s everywhere, disguised, dressed up…slightly changed to fit the current mood, trend or whatever

but it was his mission to spell it out for us all

in his “inverted comma way”


Honestly, if he wasn’t a mate I’d just call him a nutter and be done with him

but like everyone else I figured it was a phase he’d snap out of…

instead it grew…til suddenly he had this sort of fellowship

of worshippers who paid him money, brought him food and weird clothes

there was no speaking to him unless you paid a fee

and he’d just wink, with that bloody smile of his

always the larrikin…larger than life but this…this was…well

it was bloody insane is what it was!!!


Now here we are

all of us who were close to him

sitting here, quiet like, still trying to figure it out…

and all I can think is…

“Well mate… wasn’t thinkin outside the box messin with another guys wife was ya…inverted commas “wa……” You’re in a right bloody mess…let’s see your brand new day now mate!”

and in the distance

there’s this chanting at the gate

colourful disciples shouting new age hallelujahs into the air…

and damn it I can sense it… I can see that wink, his bloody smile

and if  there’s anyone who could paint himself a brand new life…

it’d be…

the bloody  “Artist”

Inverted comma’s included!



written for dverse poets: just-say-what-you-dont-mean-irony


16 thoughts on ““The Artist “

  1. Pretentious artists always make me laugh but its interesting how their confidence will always draw a crowd. People are drawn to confidence because people (in my opinion) are always looking for someone to follow

  2. You cut right through the crap with this one, Di. I agree that pretentiousness comes back to bite eventually. Really well done. I’d love to know the whole back story. Sounds like it could be a novel.

  3. Oh snap…ha…no that was not outside of the box at all…the pretentiousness of these guys…it grates on me…ha…but they are easy to get sucked into…but dang when they fall off the pedestal, they surely fall…smiles….

  4. Yes, there’s a difference between outside the box and outside your pants. I love the conversational style here, and the compassionate but accurate portrait of the ‘Artist’ as a young twit.

  5. Love the character you created here; pretentiousness may work for a while but will eventually grow thin; and yes, it would be nice to have the backstory, as others have said.

  6. I love the idea of a pretentious artist ~ I think I have seen and read some of them, smiles ~ All I can say is someday they will wake and find that no disciples is singing their praises ~ Good one Di ~

  7. I knew an Aussie would find this right up her street – and you did 🙂 Those inverted commas wind me up something chronic – especially when I catch myself doing it 😦

  8. I get the sense I am looking at alien when I meet such people, I am sure they think I am totally daft anyways I just really don’t know how to relate with artifice, I have to be able to see the real people underneath once I do I like most anyone

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