Weddings Wishbones and Waiting Rooms

“It’s like an episode of Seinfeld,” he said…

“I make it 5 hours now and my phone’s nearly gone.”

A red sign says Fast Track Waiting room… hmm

No life threatening stuff in here…I guess

“all these people, all these ailments, all these stories.”

Inside I’m laughing…what’s my story… I’m not telling

Even to me it sounds ridiculous but I heard the crunch

felt the stab

But as I observe the other injuries in this room

It dawns on me

I could well be… the George of this group

Or maybe the Elaine

I slink a little further down

Into the corner


Funny how life happens

one day celebrating my son’s wedding… toasting happiness, cheering,

dancing to Stayin Alive

doin a little Elaine style number with my daughter

the next… I’m in the fast track waiting room

along with Mr I broke the huge pickle jar…shards in foot

and young rugby dude…dislocated shoulder

sitting next to poor mum with broken wrist

There’s nothing obviously wrong with me…but then there never is

But I can see their minds ticking over

trying to diagnose

Eventually curiosity wins out…

“So what’s wrong with you?”

Me in the corner… trying to avoid critical gaze…“Chicken bone stuck in throat”

“ha ha…what’d I tell ya… Seinfeld,” he cries in glee.

It’s official

I’m George

And as the minutes tick on…possible bird flu flying by

We wait…

And then…just as it does one after the other we’re seen


“Well…chicken bone hey…” he says as he looks at the x-ray… “can’t see any chickens in there.”

“But they said there was…”

“I don’t believe x-rays…but I could be wrong.”


“Can you swallow?”


“Ah well you’ve come all this way…better take a look.”

So he gets his probing camera… and it’s up your nose with a rubber hose

Well not quite but you get the drift…

“all clear…no chicken bones. I guess… no more kebabs for you.”

Hmm…I smile

He tells me for future reference… “all you have to do is drink water. If you can swallow there’s no chicken bone.”

But of course, as he’s already said

He could be wrong


My son and his new bride…my youngest son is a groomsman… forgive a proud mum! 🙂


23 thoughts on “Weddings Wishbones and Waiting Rooms

  1. This is a little lost on me because I am not really familiar with Seinfield. But I have sat for hours in waiting areas and done the diagnosis bit.

    A fabulous little story with an almost happy ending [I hope he was not wrong] and congratulations on gaining a daughter.

  2. If no chicken–did they try looking for rooster bone? Or bone-bone? Anyways, I’m just glad you ALL RIGHT, Peep.
    Next time, try Pork (loin!)…..WELL WRITTEN, no matter!

  3. Dianne, first of all I love the title, it seems quite apropos. Love the story and the reference to Seinfield, yes, George is a bit goofy.

    btw your family is beautiful.

  4. This was so fun. I’ve only recently watched a few Seinfeld episodes (probably the only person in the cosmos who hasn’t). But your characterization is great and isn’t it wonderful how humor can get us through the most miserable of situations?

  5. Ha! This is brilliant! I’m a huge fan of Seinfeld, and your analogy is spot-on! The line, “doing a little Elaine style number with my daughter”… Classic 🙂

  6. I love this story. You told it well, poetically and with humor. Ya, I can imagine that people wondered what brought YOU there. Smiles. Glad you really ended up not having a chicken bone in your throat….but I can understand the fear and the necessity of being seen!

  7. Not a Seinfeld fan, but always a fan of your work. This is a great piece, Funny, when we believe that something is wrong, nothing will convince us otherwise.Very well told!

  8. Congratulations… what a lovely photo.

    I had to laugh at this. So sorry it happened, but the reference to Seinfeld was perfect. I could even hear the little jingles they used. Glad you’re okay.

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