Over The Bridge

 

Stuttered rails line the bridge, stark white against

Stormy skies with clouds billowing in angst

 

Rising plumes of purple, pink, blue and grey

create a looming expansive bouquet

 

A colourful calm before fury flies

shards of lightning spear downward through the skies

 

Whirling nature’s wand of hostility

 that flat lines the mountains into the sea

 

For dversepoets form for all Prosody: Line and Meter

It took me a while but this was free verse poem, I’ve tried to keep to line and meter. I was really trying to get the right stressed and unstressed syllables… hope I got close.

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17 thoughts on “Over The Bridge

  1. i think you did…and you did better than me…still struggling over here to get some traction…ha…nice energy in it as well…the storm build….cool visuals too…i can see it…

  2. Pretty close — many lines start with a heavy stress and then take up an iambic beat which is not unusual. To make them more rhythmic one might precede with an article; but poets like Auden and Heaney often drop the first light stress in a line. There were many good uses of anapests: “stuttered rails” and “stormy skies” for instance and others sprinkled throughout. I might have put the word “then” before blue and gray to keep the rhythm smoother but again it’s your poem and you only need to know what these devices are. In the end you and only you make the decision to use what you want and disregard the rest but strictly speaking in that line particularly you need another light stress there. If in doubt where the stress in a word is, check with the dictionary. In words using “ing” the “ing” usually has a light stress not a heavy one.

    Good work on a fine poem. I agree with the above comments regarding the merits of the poem itself! Thank you.

    • Thank you Gay… glad I was close and managed to use anapests was hoping to get that too. It’s good to have a go at these form prompts and get outside my comfort zone and learn a little more…thanks so much for the prompt and advice. 🙂

  3. I think I see what you have done — you have stuck to ten syllables per line. This is sometimes recommended as a way to achieve iambic pentameter, but really it’s far from the whole story. The crucial thing in metre is where the stresses fall. Nevertheless it’s a very effective syllabic poem, as distinct from free verse, and achieves a satisfyingly enhanced poetic quality thereby. (I like to use syllabics myself from time to time, because of the subtlety of the pattern so created.)

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